.: Talk Cock Session :.

Hmmm... Still using my bro's laptop for my usual "miscellaneous" stuff. Well, I think kor has been freaking busy or just too lazy to help me fix my antique. HaiZ...

Money is an issue man... U know it's only half a month I've already spent more than half of my money. One thing is cuz u have to give ur papa and mama $ That's a must. People always say once u start earning, you'll know money is hard to earn. Yeah true. That's why so many people out there are dreaming or thinking of many many ways to be rich. But I think when you're rich and have too much money, you'll change. How many will ever think to give back right?! *pondering...*

& next thing is I've spent too much on things I can't see. Those intangible thingy like entertainment, transportation, FOOD. I consider FOOD intangible cuz eventually they all become da bian (waste)?? HAHA

Anyway, I can still remember what Kyung Ae asked moon and me bout "Will you choose love or success?"

I told them, right now I choose success. (So did KyungAe) I think I'll concentrate on spreading love to my loved ones. Kekeke* I've decided. I will TRY TO PURSUE MY DREAM next year!!! (Notice I use the word "TRY", cuz I really hope time permits.) I will go for SIA interview too! & with my full-time singlehood, I shall commit myself to freelance modelling as well... I hope my current job will have much space for me. But I doubt university is in my mind for now. I wish to do a lot of things. Listening to Corrinne May's song now. Somehow I would love to learn singing, just like Yan. But I can't help what to think it's really expensive to learn these what you call "interests" or "passion". U can say I am ambitious or whatever u wanna put it. But I have a strong believe now that some things you can do it when you are young and I dunno when I will leave this beautiful world. *touchwood*

Recently, I think I've changed a little. Knowing more of what I want in life (cuz I think I have all the neccessary needs already). I have this mindset of "trying" cuz you'll never know what is the end result. At least I can tell people "I've tried". I used to do things in the wishy-washy way. I find opportunities come fast and unpredictable. In another words they can leave u fast too! Fast decision-making is required. And GRAB!

However I am yet a business-minded person, so dun come and ask me to business-developement with you. HAHA But I think and I know I'm too implusive at times and I really appreciate at times loved ones around me will stop me or pull me back. Thanks babies (you should know who you are). But on the other hand, I dislike hindrance. It just puts me in to dilemma and yes I dislike dilemma too! *Stratch head.. & stop talk cocking cock*

Next next... *Start to talk cock again* It really bothers me when guys start to treat me overly nice. I just can't help but to think...

"Can you dun be so nice?"

"Can you dun be so sweet?"

Cuz no.1 I would think I've owe them something.

no.2 wo shou bu liao leh..

I mean it's okie to be gentleman lar. I love gentlemenSs anyway. But dun be so sweet like my galfriends or majiam like a bf pls. *shake head* Frankly speaking, I would love to think that they have no motive. But I just feel weird. ~_~ I just purely hope that it's some kinda friendship. Haiya, I am bias. If it's a gal who is nice and sweet I would befren them easily and won't think much. (Gals no motive ma...) But guy... *Slap forehead* What am I talking huh? Aiya I still think it's possible to become friends, as long as u dun think too far like any "further development"? But I understand nice and sweet people are all around, so why should I be bothered right? Okie lar I shall befren them, but as usual selectively ba!!! If not like ah zhen, have to drop friend. So mafan righT? HAHA really talk cock session.

Fernie's Random Thought: It's about deceiving and convincing people that you are good.