I'm back from TAIWAN~!

That place is really welcoming. I can truely feel the WELCOME 2 TAIWAN when I'm there. TAIPEI n HUALIEN, my fav is HUALIEN, I WANNA GO BACK THERE AGAIN!

Will update soon... there're too many stories, photos, n FOOD to share~!

OUR SCOOTER RIDE at Hualien is fun, tiring, backaching, n butt-sore-ing!

FACE LIFT!

Okay, this blog is finally face-lifted with this new SCROLL RIGHT gardeny theme. I LOVE it! It's really cute n the loading of this page is not as slow as the last one. Once the flash files r loaded into ur temp folder, return entry loading is even faster! The last butterfly theme seems deadly from the slow bandwidth from the EX creditor's photobucket.

Anyway, leave some comments for me la (PLS scroll right for the msg box!) & tell me how you feel bout this facelift. Even thou Eden said that she still likes SCROLL DOWN, I'm still keepin it since she said "NICE" too. Kekeke

Girls' Fight

I remember the last time I had a "fight" with my best friend was many many years ago over some small matter which I can't exactly recall what it was. I have to say I felt myself being childish at that time for creating a scene n I recall that our common friends were kinda busy helping to clam us both down n pacify us not to be upset with each other. Reminding me that "we are friends for so many years already..." Both of us eventually talk it out n yep we're still friends even after sooo many years. Guess I'm embarrassed to even mention bout this event, instead I laugh over it now. Kekeke The things we did last time... LOL

I was telling Rach n Han that I fell out with a close friend I know from work. The story is too long that I've decided to type it down instead. Anyway I hope this would make me sleep better, feel better, n perhaps be understood... Anyway I know it's all my fault.

Actually there's one thing I truely hate about my job is the odd hours I have to adjust n work at. So on that very day, when I have to report for work at 5am in the morning, I was experiencing quite a bit of stress of not being able to sleep. I always have a fear of having not enough rest b4 a flight, which might result in a non tip-top condition at work. It's not that I am a tip top worker or what, but it's more of like having the right energy n focus for work. I wish to achieve that.

So the story goes... It all started on that night when I was trying my best not to toss n turn n go deep into sleep with min, perhaps 3hrs? (It was ard11... I still couldnt sleep... I needa wake up at 3am) When I finally slipped into my deepest level of sleep, my mobile sms alert tone sang at its loudest. I woke. Hoping to go back to sleep, I tried to ignore it... But can't... so I checked on the clock timing n realised it 1am+ Even more stress now as I only left 1hr plus to rest. SH*T

I then built up this sudden frustration of not having a good rest in me... I was still asking myself if I should silence my mobile b4 I go to bed... N I remember very clearly I told myself "its pointless lar, cuz for the past few days no one even SMS u... why bother" N I was anoyed even more negatively by the SMS as it is a mass-sent SMS.

I tossed n turned for another hour... I guess the anger had got all over me that I took up my phone immediately n typed a SMS back n told my friend off. Seriously I can't really recall what I typed, but I do remember some parts on myself blaming her for cutting short my rest cuz I was awake since her SMS n I had to wake up at 3am & yes I sounded I AM REAL PISSED, hoping to get an apology back instead.

According to our common friend, I sounded real nasty n was scolding her in the SMS. I know I was being bad, but at that time I was not at the right state. I was even thinking I should get an apology from her after I sent her that SMS cuz my beauty sleep was affected n that I would say things like nah it's ok, sorry for being unreasonable n stuff n I think such small matter would be fine n something to laugh over at some tea or watever session. I took for granted that this small matter would be by-gone after the day. But I do know I owe her an apology which I failed to say within the next few days.

Who knows the greatest twist can really happen... My friend (till now I still regard her as my friend) is actually very shocked n got upset with my hurtful n nasty SMS. I realised that she hasn't SMS me lately, so I dropped her a msg on Mon, followed by a belated birthday greeting... All I received was a cold "thks"

She really made it obvious to a oblivious me, at that time. It hit me hard n I realise someone is REALLY angry with me. I tried to call her, but she didn't pick up... SMS n no reply... I told myself maybe she's on a holiday for her leave. I tried to ask a common fren of ours to seek some info if she's in Singapore, but the friend is not around. So I stick to the idea that she's on a holiday.... NATIVE ME...

Things really happen for reasons I soon found out "accidentally" from AD about Her being upset with me. I was really glad that AD spoke up n shed some light to Her disappearance, if not I would still be in a "denial mode" that the worst can happen.

Anyway I then made an apology SMS to her, n wow it's quite a long one... 6 page long I think.

To be honest, I am really sincere in trying hard to salvage the friendship but I know it cannot be done with just a SMS lar... I wish to speak n apologise to her personally. Anyway the thing has past for so long, that means she must have been bitter about this for THIS long already. BUT I KNOW she doesn't wish to speak to me cuz she really nv pick up my call. SIGH After I sent her the SMS, I was hoping she would immediately reply me or something.

I got a SMS the next day telling me that ON PURPOSE she did not wanna reply my SMS immediately as she FEARS that she would UNINTENTIONALLY disturb my rest at night, EVEN DAY, my family etc. She added that there's no need for explanations nor apologies n that she would appreciate them. She claimed that it's her fault for sending the SMS which I seriously dun think so. But the last part disturbs me the most cuz she said things assuming that our common friend has told me things that's "no pt, not needed n she shouldn't". I assume TOO that she thought that I have spoke to the common friend for some info? It makes me sound like I'm those people with motiveS? (you xin ji de ren)???

Argh! At that moment when I saw the last part, I am actually quite annoyed cuz it's kinda unfair to the friend, right?! Made her sound like some da xiao bao gao de ren. She's not supposed to be in the picture leh...

The reply from her is not positive. I admit it's my fault for making this nonsensical thing happened. I wish to deal it like adults. I come to realise the boys or men do it better. N this SMS thingy is not effective lo. How can she understand what I truely wanna say in person? Over the years I've learnt communication is very important. I learnt it harder after I knew my husband. When we're not happy, we'll say it out n talk it out, try to solve the problem... even can't solve also at least let each other know how we've felt ma. It strengthens relationship ya know...

I felt a bit misunderstood here as I didn't get a "confrontation" msg from her that she's unhappy. U know... we couldn't talk it out n solve the issue. I would have just admitted my mistake. But YA I ALWAYS know I am wrong in this in the first place. BUT I AM SAD that I wasn't given a CHANCE to salvage the situation.

I even come to a state of imaging the worst that could happen if we meet in person, n what would happen if she's willing to forgive my stupid doings eventually... would we still be so cool or the friendship would be a lil sour by then... etc etc

I think some on u might be thinking why I bother about this so much?

Does the friendship really worth so much to me?

I still have many other friends! ya know...

if your friendship can't even survive such trival matter, what's the point?

Thou her last reply was real hurtful, sounded not like the Her I know, I think she dun really mean it... She may reply out of anger lo... I think I will still hope for some better outcome in near future... if not yeap, I am losing a friend lo... I still have to be cool...

oh my gosh.... this is such a real long entry... I know it bores u readers.... I just have to let it out... So I feel better.........